State of the Guardianship Union message

My fellow Americans

My message to you today is that the state of the guardianship union and industry in these United States of America is strong. Very strong.

In spite of endless complaints from victims, countless well-publicized media reports of exploitation and corruption, incessant reports of court-based abuses in nearly every state and hapless legislative attempts to rein in the power of guardianship courts in America, the industry remains unassailable and in absolute control of millions of lives worth many billions of dollars with more guardianships being created everyday.

When we work together there is nothing we cannot do.

The guardianship industry has maintained its absolute control over the lives of unsuspecting senior citizens and their families by cunningly sidestepping annoying statutes and rules which on their surface would restrict the court’s ability to invalidate well-established advance directives, change wills, invade trusts, isolate families from their loved ones  and redistribute massive amounts of money into the pockets of industry insiders. Because of our proactive approach to conscripting ever more members of dysfunctional families into plenary guardianships our economic program of re-appropriating private accounts funds and estates into our own wealth extraction program, hundreds of billions of dollars per year continue to flow through the courts and into the hands of our industry insiders. We continue to develop new and innovative ways to disguise and hide those profits from taxation. By our ceaseless efforts of sequestration we continue to hold fast to our goal of never allowing meaningful oversight of our actions as well as to continue our steadfast position of never allowing the creation of  or any access to meaningful statistics on guardianship.

Our program for the guaranteed reelection and retention of our guardianship judges in each state has grown stronger every year by the increasingly generous contributions from guardians and lawyers to the reelection campaigns of our esteemed cohort’s in the judiciary. The unflinching support of every state Bar in the country as well as their incredibly helpful work in making sure that any proposed legislation that would rein in our absolute control over our domain is cunningly but forcefully written in our favor and can never make any meaningful impact on our operations is deeply appreciated and of course supported by the generous contributions of all our attorneys to the Bar. All of us continue to appreciate the support of our colleagues in law enforcement who steadfastly refuse to even take reports of any notion of wrongdoing in our courts, refuse to make police reports and create more business for our attorneys by referring every complainant to”go find a lawyer” to deal with what others have foolishly referred to as corruption and the commission of felonies in our courts. Though there have been outlier cases where some of our members have become sloppy and greedy and been caught stealing millions and millions of dollars, the vast majority of our industry insiders continue to enjoy the protection of the courts secure in the knowledge that our system will continue to suppress and defeat anyone foolish enough to challenge it.

Guardianship creation is at an all-time high and growing even still. The number of new guardians being trained throughout the country is rising dramatically. Thankfully our long time compliant guardianship court judges who have served us so well for so many decades and are now retiring are being replaced by reliable substitutes who will continue our decades long tradition of serving our self interests at the expense of anyone who gets in the way. Two thirds of all the lawyers in the world now work in the United States and are a formidable reservoir of attorneys who can keep our industry fully stocked for many years to come. Our strong connections to law schools that produce our most effective industry insiders continue to bear fruit. In short our pipeline is stacked.

Yet we do face challenges. Attempts by whiny, pathetic losers who do not understand our ultimate power and ability to resist any meaningful actions against us continue to annoy us, but we stand strong and unified against their de minimus resources, and any weak, pointless legal attempts at intervention. We retain the ability  to destroy the career of any attorney who has the audacity to attempt to litigate against us. As always we will refine our skills and techniques especially when it comes to our professionally articulate means of character assassination of those who would oppose us. We will continue to maintain absolute control over court records and never allow them to work against us. We will continue to carefully monitor court reporters work and carefully remove or edit any entries that would possibly be seen in a negative light against us.


We continue to support programs that allow us to exercise even more control over the lives of innocent individuals including our emerging program for sterilization of the incapacitated during their childbearing years. We plan to continue to expand the number of participants in our industry to include social workers in newer court based mediation programs, more court observers who can generate fees, and more integration with services like home health care, nursing homes, clinics, mental health centers, pharmaceutical company trials, to be able to profit even more from every possible source of revenue private or public–Tax free!

The future is bright for the guardianship industry especially with the demographics of the American citizenry indicating that huge numbers of baby boomers will find their way into guardianship proceedings over the next 10 years. We must be prepared for this unprecedented opportunity to fully employ our members in this  immensely profitable once in 100 lifetimes bonanza of low hanging fruit and easy money. While we do not wish to overwork our insiders, we support anything that makes them money without work,  the construction (preferably with federal funds) of more senior warehouses, higher Medicare and Medicaid benefit levels we can divert, more appropriations for adult protective services-our wonderful allies, more FINRA rules that allow financial institutions to report elderly people and refer them for guardianship if they appear the slightest bit confused and any other programs we see fit as long as they increase the availability of our raw material– senior citizens with assets.

We are strong. We will remain strong. We will fight to the last drop of blood to maintain our stranglehold on innocent Americans. We will ignore, resist, and repel any and all attempts to challenge our authority and power. We are your United States guardianship industry.